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Making sure your boss knows there is a problem
'cause they may not know. Really.

I spent a bit of time working in a professional recruiting office, and one of the things I gleaned from this experience was that some people let there boss know they are unhappy for the first time when they are turning in their resignation.

This seemed odd to me, but after I had spent some time out in the work force I understand why. Most people have a fear of being fired. They then feed this fear the concept that if they let the boss know they are unhappy, he/she will let them go and hire a happy person.

In my experience as the boss, I know that fixing a problem to make employees happier is easier most times, than finding a replacement.

While at the recruiting office we used to ask the unhappy candidate if their boss knew that they were unhappy. Most of the time the answer was, "No." And we would instruct them on ways to let them know. Because there is this danger in having the first conversation at the point of resignation. It is called the counter-offer.

We would have these unhappy candidates twice. First, Mr. Unhappy would go on interviews and get a new job offer. He would accept and go see the boss. Mr. Boss would say, "I had no idea you were unsatisfied with X Y and Z. Here is a 20% increase and we will get you some help." Mr. Unhappy would not be able to turn this down, and pull out of the new job. Then he would spend a couple of months planning to spend all this new money, and training his replacement.

Yes that is right, that help that Mr. Boss arranged is going to soon be the only one doing that job. Mr. Boss doesn't have the budget to give Mr. Unhappy a 20% raise for a year, but he can for 3 to 4 months.

So three months later, Mr. Unhappy was not only back, but back and unemployed at the same time. The best prospect didn't want him as he had pulled out of their offer and had burned that bridge.

Some one will probably reply with a nice story about how they got a counter-offer or how they use job offers to extort raises from their boss. But please believe me that these are the rare cases.

Now about talking to the boss. One of my favorite ways it to offer to buy him lunch. There are many times when a boss of mine will want to talk off site about up coming organization changes. I use the same format to air issues and grievances. Also, a free meal is a good way to say, "Hey, I still like you but we need to talk."

If you are having trouble getting this meeting you may have to do it in the office, then I recommend a conference room at least. Try not to have this discussion in their office where people will knock on the door and call on the phone and interrupt.

Getting into as neutral of a setting as possible is important a a psychological reasons as well. Your boss may have trouble relating to your problems sitting behind a mahogany desk surrounded by awards and achievements.

And be sure to have written down some or all of what you want to say. Even if you don't bring it or read any of it. Writing it down can help prepare you to sound more concise and coherent.

Wow, this seems like a bit of a rant. sorry for the lengthy post.
Posted: 07/27/2007 @ 07:54 AM (PDT)  (edited 07/27/2007 @ 09:38 AM (PDT))
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Read original item: Making a stand against the boss
Making sure your boss knows there is a problemroyhayward@... | 07/27/2007 @ 07:54 AM (PDT)
great helpful post!sgt_shultz | 07/27/2007 @ 10:04 AM (PDT)
Rule #1 in resigning: Don't ever accept counter offers!Big Ole Jack | 07/27/2007 @ 10:04 AM (PDT)
I agree with the rule, but ...royhayward@... | 07/27/2007 @ 10:33 AM (PDT)
I don't trust the "anti-retaliation" nor HR policies of most companiesBig Ole Jack | 07/27/2007 @ 11:10 AM (PDT)
Absolutelychas_2 | 08/09/2007 @ 08:46 AM (PDT)
Nailed it again....Locrian_Lyric | 07/27/2007 @ 10:56 AM (PDT)
I've burned bridges before as well, but with such corps, screw their refsBig Ole Jack | 07/27/2007 @ 11:55 AM (PDT)
This corp had a 'no references' policy for ALL employees.Locrian_Lyric | 07/27/2007 @ 01:05 PM (PDT)
Perhaps because they were such dirtbags that nobody trusted them for refsBig Ole Jack | 07/27/2007 @ 01:44 PM (PDT)
VERY well knnown company....Locrian_Lyric | 07/27/2007 @ 01:54 PM (PDT)
Re: Very Well Known CompanyBig Ole Jack | 07/27/2007 @ 03:21 PM (PDT)
RE: Very well known company.Locrian_Lyric | 07/30/2007 @ 05:28 AM (PDT)
NO disincentive?meryllogue@... | 08/02/2007 @ 08:49 AM (PDT)
Integrety in the face of business.royhayward@... | 08/03/2007 @ 12:39 PM (PDT)
NO disincentive?meryllogue@... | 08/02/2007 @ 08:51 AM (PDT)
Most of the time, the briges are already burnedbdmore | 07/30/2007 @ 10:51 AM (PDT)
not quite true....Locrian_Lyric | 07/30/2007 @ 11:06 AM (PDT)
Rule #1 in Resigningsabiodun@... | 07/30/2007 @ 12:37 AM (PDT)
This is not right timeVijayant Vashistha | 07/30/2007 @ 03:06 AM (PDT)
There are only two reasonsroyhayward@... | 08/01/2007 @ 12:50 PM (PDT)
Another reason...or moreIT cowgirl | 08/02/2007 @ 01:07 PM (PDT)
Hmmm, I don't think these are reasons to walk out...royhayward@... | 08/03/2007 @ 12:32 PM (PDT)
RE: Resigningsabiodun@... | 08/05/2007 @ 08:00 AM (PDT)
Glad I could helproyhayward@... | 08/07/2007 @ 07:27 AM (PDT)
Not right away, however...chas_2 | 08/09/2007 @ 09:00 AM (PDT)
Fear is not the only motivation.royhayward@... | 08/13/2007 @ 11:53 AM (PDT)
Let Your Boss KnowWayne M. | 07/30/2007 @ 10:44 AM (PDT)
Creating relationships with peopleroyhayward@... | 08/01/2007 @ 12:58 PM (PDT)
Bring Issues to your Boss?kjgiffy | 08/02/2007 @ 07:34 AM (PDT)
In my evaluations....JamesRL | 08/02/2007 @ 07:50 AM (PDT)
Good Manager!kjgiffy | 08/03/2007 @ 05:56 AM (PDT)
So it looks like you boss had an open door policyroyhayward@... | 08/03/2007 @ 12:25 PM (PDT)
Going Going GoneMitch121 | 08/09/2007 @ 02:20 AM (PDT)
(multiple post; deleted)chas_2 | 08/09/2007 @ 08:42 AM (PDT)
(multiple post; deleted)chas_2 | 08/09/2007 @ 08:42 AM (PDT)
It depends on whether you trust your boss or not...chas_2 | 08/09/2007 @ 08:44 AM (PDT)
From a bossbutesch@... | 08/09/2007 @ 05:09 PM (PDT)
RE: Making a stand against the bossstudent_2000_9@... | 07/30/2007 @ 12:24 PM (PDT)
#4 is most helpful to me.Absolutely | 08/05/2007 @ 10:51 AM (PDT)
We all may be there in the end,amit.hunterd@... | 08/09/2007 @ 09:31 AM (PDT)

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